Officially, haggis is a sausage filled with finest lamb, beef, oats, onions and spices. It’s a great source of iron, fibre, and carbohydrate with no artificial colours.
The plural of Haggis is Haggis.
Authentic “wild” or “free range”Haggis (or Haggis scoticus, spelled with a capital H) is significantly more difficult to obtain, especially outside of the Scottish highlands.
Truthfully, no Haggis has ever been successfully bred in captivity.
Many wild Haggis experts believe Haggis scoticus is a hardy herbivorous survivor of the Late Cretaceous period about 76.5-73 million years ago.
Anatomical studies reveal that Haggis have very wiry fur, and legs of uneven length. Tough-skinned air bladders protect their shoulders, backs and hips from falls, but they tend to bounce like basketballs if they land on hard surfaces.
They are not great runners, but it is best to approach their habitat from above if possible. Seeing an entire herd of 50-100 Haggis suddenly bouncing, rolling, and charging down at you from a Highland mull, fangs bared, hooting and droning, is a terrifying sight. It is believed by some that the famed Scottish battle tactic, the Highland Charge, models this aggressive Haggis behavior.
Audio recordings from the Scottish highlands suggest that Haggis may produce loud honking and droning sounds through a cluster of bizarre nasal cranial crests that extend from the top of their head. These likely are used to signal danger and to perform territorial and mating songs (Behavior similar to whales, Bull elk during rut, birds).
The most successful Haggis hunters use slow-tempo bagpipe laments – AKA “Pibroch” (piobaireachd or Ceòl Mòr) – to imitate the Haggis mating call. This particular bagpipe musical form is highly stylized and is performed while the piper walks aimlessly about. This uniquely disturbing racket tends to attract the mature Haggis bulls and hens, but the juveniles come along as well.
Before setting out on a Haggis hunt it is best to drink a few drams of whiskey to help muddle your human scent (or senses…) and numb your ears to the sounds of Pibroch.
Juvenile Haggis are best for eating as they are quite tender. Adult Haggis are also prized, however, for their extremely durable skin and air bladder casings, from which the best bagpipe bags are made!